It’s funny the way we have terms for things that were meant to be descriptive but have now become ‘things’ in their own right.
Self-belief is simply belief in yourself, but now it has become a term which we get really caught up in and feel that it is something we need to ‘obtain’ in order to be successful/happy/loved etc.
It is my, perhaps rather controversial opinion that self-belief has run away with itself, it has become simply another thing to worry about – do we have enough of it, do we have too much of it and have become blind to reality, do we need to work on it…? So many questions, so many routes to the answers, what on earth is needed to obtain such a ‘thing’?
Self-belief is not a ‘thing’. It does not exist outside of yourself, you cannot go and ‘get’ it. No one can give it to you either.
I want to reframe it for you today, to take away the mystical nature of it.
Do you believe that you exist?
Then you believe in self.
What you are looking for is belief not intrinsically in self – but in something ABOUT yourself.
When you use the words similar to or the same as ‘I need to believe in myself’ you immediately give yourself the message that you are not important, that you don’t matter – for you are questioning your very existence.
Take some of the power away from what has become a damaging term.
Do you believe in yourself? Yes!
Instead, be more specific and create a question or an exploration that can be much more easily
achieved/answered. Or at least leaves you somewhere to go next with it…
Do I believe I am capable of running a business?
Now let’s look at a fun exercise around this same idea….
Let’s say your question to yourself was:
Do I believe I am capable of running a business? Let’s say you said ‘yes’…
Now let’s break it down further…
What kind of business do you believe you are capable of running? Let’s play with the belief a little and ask a few more questions…just throw them around, have fun with it…
Grab a big sheet of paper and start writing as many variations of the question as possible.
Write and write until you cannot write anymore.
Ask daft questions, fun questions, hard questions, questions you don’t know the answer to, questions you never thought of…keep going as long as you can.
Do I believe I can run a business that earns millions? Thousands? Hundreds? Etc Etc. Then you can go back through and answer yes or no and ask ‘why not, what do I need’ for the no’s. This is a great way to understand where the beliefs are limiting your thinking but it also shows you what you actually want. Maybe you ask ‘Do I believe I am capable of running a business that earns millions? and think ‘yes’ I am capable, but – that’s not what I actually want.
Once you have identified the specifics in part 2, it is an important step for you to then quickly provide proof for yourself. Proof build belief so when you have identified an action you could take take it quickly, before the
doubt sets in. I know that we all have only a certain number of hours in the day and we will cover productivity BUT
here’s a question for you to think about…
How much time have you already WASTED in proving your negative beliefs?
How much procrastinating?
How much over thinking?
How much overwhelm?
You spend plenty of time proving your negatives beliefs or working on all the reasons why NOT to do
something. Take THAT time and work on proving that you CAN give it a go instead – rather than thinking,
try BEING that in your thoughts and then QUICKLY do and DO the thing that would prove to
yourself that you can BE that person.