There is often (for that read always!) a hidden reason why we do not make the changes we identify would help us.
That is because in some way or another they are SERVING us.
This is a tricky concept to get your head around for many people – why on earth would you continue to do something that you know is producing the opposite results to what you really want?
Why would you NOT do the things that you know you help to change the outcome – even when they are really pretty simple and straight forward to put in place?
Why on earth would these things that hold us back be serving us?
There is always a gain in our pain.
Let me give you an example to help illustrate this a little:
Let’s say there is something really simple you want to change – you want to stop spending so much time on Social Media.
Sounds easy enough right? Just don’t look at your phone, delete the apps, set a timer, do what you need to do.
But, it doesn’t happen, you continue doing the thing that you say you want to change.
Because there is something you get from it that you don’t want to give up, maybe this is not conscious…you may have to dig a little, think outside of the box a bit…maybe it is:
Any number of things…
This is true of the bigger things too:
You want to lose weight but if you were to lose weight you would lose the hidden benefit so you don’t do the things that would result in you losing weight.
What might be the benefit here?
= you feel less attractive so you can be less noticeable
= you can avoid sex
= you have created a physical protection around yourself in place of an emotional one
= you get an emotional comfort from eating that you would miss
Again, these are just examples.
Have a look at this yourself today:
What are you currently experiencing that you are finding hard to change?
What hidden benefit might there be that you gain from staying the same?